


Mirrors

by tedspants



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:40:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21652420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tedspants/pseuds/tedspants
Summary: Dennis hated mirrors. That didn't stop him from spending hours every morning staring at himself in one. If only his stupid roommate would leave him alone.
Relationships: Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> part dennis analysis part softcore pornography. this...probably needs to be edited again but its so old i just wanna post it.  
> inspired? by the song aphrodisiac by IAMX. also i am still watching the newest season of its always sunny (14) so......im not up to date not that i think that'll really matter

Dennis hated mirrors. He despised the ability to see himself as others saw him, could not stand the wretched ugliness that stared back. Each morning, he spent at least an hour (longer, if he was being honest) in front of the mirror scrutinizing and disguising every little flaw. It’s where he was now, standing shirtless in front of the bathroom sink staring at the pale, ghostly torso reflected before him. And that’s what he was really, a ghost. Looking deep into his pupils, he saw nothing. Dark, empty voids that held no emotion, like staring into the eyes of a mannequin. With immense frustration Dennis noticed his face was getting fat again. He pulled at the skin around his neck in attempt to hide his slight double chin; wishing human skin could simply be molded like clay. Everywhere he looked there was more, the receding hairline, yellowing teeth. Hollow eyes and sagging skin, dark circles and _wrinkles_ in the corner of his eyes- Christ. He was already halfway dead. It was hideous. Unacceptable. Slowly, Dennis ran his hands down from his cheeks to his neck and paused. He pressed into his skin with his fingernails-lightly at first, then digging in, sharp and stinging.

It was curious, how much was occurring beneath his skin. First, there was blood, then organs and other systems at work, churning and flowing and beating. Unseen, visceral processes that kept him alive. Kept him beautiful. His body would peak, and then these systems would deteriorate over time, until eventual, inevitable failure. His heart would one day stop beating, neurons stop firing, brain stop showing signs of activity. It was in the mirror each morning that he saw this future. A corpse, decaying. The reminder that his beauty, his godliness- would not last. With every day that passed, more of him was lost.

At last, Dennis relaxed his fingers, still maintaining eye contact with himself.

It infuriated him, the fleeting nature of everything beautiful. Just look at Maureen! Back in the day she had been a stunning specimen and he’d had feelings for her, real feelings! How desperately he had tried to find some semblance of that in the present version of her, and look how that’d turned out! She’d become a clingy, crazy…cat woman! Nothing left of the only person he had once possibly loved.

Dennis remembered dully that Maureen was dead now. Both the perfect version of her from high school and disgrace she had become. It brought him a sense of relief, knowing she was gone. Something so far past its peak should not be allowed to continue. In a way it seemed merciful. He mourned more for the Maureen of his memories. There were photos of them in a shoebox, somewhere. Driving around in her dad’s car, rolling joints and selling them to middle schoolers at the park. Parking down the street from the high school and banging in the backseat during homeroom. Dennis wished he could find those photographs and crawl into them, live in those moments and make them go on forever.

He thought of art piece he had created during a game of Chardee Macdennis- a magnificent symbol of everlasting beauty captured in the sculpture of a woman’s severed head in a box. Wished that every moment him and Maureen had spent together back then could be preserved like that. Those stupid idiots hadn’t understood or appreciated his masterpiece, but what the hell! None of those idiots knew a single thing about art or beauty! And how could they? They were, after all, leagues beneath him. Physically, mentally, in all ways that mattered, Dennis was on top. He was in way better shape than anyone else in the gang, hell he was in the prime of his life! So what if he needed a little polishing? All it did was highlight the assets he already had.

Dennis began applying makeup. The foundation helped a little, wrinkles and blemishes softened. Slowly, the screaming thoughts of self-hatred began to quiet down into a dull roar. Just put on some mascara and….hey. He didn’t look so bad. Not bad at all! I mean, this really _was_ a man in his prime. Just a bit of lip gloss and…Perfect. Screw that delusional cashier down at the WaWa who had called him a fugly old creep! Stupid bitch had no idea what she was missing out on.

In the mirror Dennis watched as his expression transformed before him. His lips curved up in a slight smirk, eyes now alert, eyebrows narrowed and smug. Predatory. He was the Golden God! God’s didn’t age, or get ugly, or get turned down by idiot cashiers. Hell, she was probably a lesbian or something. That’d make sense, there was no other logical reason she would have turned him down. After all, Dennis knew for a fact he was incredibly attractive. He had dozens of sex tapes stored beneath his bed to prove it. So many perfect looking women moaning _his_ name, wanting _him_. Dennis let out a laugh and his smirk turned into a full-toothed grin. All the frustration he’d just been feeling was gone, dissolved right out of him and replaced with a beaming, confident glow. How absurd it was that he had even felt so low of himself in the first place. As if Dennis Reynolds stared at his reflection and pitied himself like some ugly teenage girl. Please.

A loud banging on the door broke Dennis out of his zenful bubble. “Bro, you’ve been in there for like, 2 hours! I gotta shower! Open the goddamn door Dennis!” Mac shouted.

Dennis clenched his jaw, eyes narrowing. How dare that prick interrupt him during such an important part of his day. And, what? Two hours? Like hell he’d been in there that long! There was nothing like Mac’s idiocy to put in a dagger in a good mood.

Dennis swung the bathroom door open wildly and Mac jumped back in surprise.

“I’ll have you know that I have been in here for less than two hours and that perfection takes time Mac! Precious time that I do not want to be interrupted from! Do you think they built Rome in a day? Huh? Do you?!”

Mac was taken aback. “Uh..no?”

“That’s right Mac! No they did not! Are you saying you don’t want me to look my utmost best? That it’s not important for the _world,_ for society that I am my best self?!”

“No! No dude I never said that!”

“Really. Cuz that’s the vibe I’m getting right now buddy!” Dennis stepped into Mac’s personal space and watched his friend’s eyes flick downwards and back up again. Dennis was still shirtless. Oh, Mac.

“Bro, I never said I didn’t want you to be your best self or whatever. I just wanna take a shower, ok? Besides you look fine dude.”

“Really? Just _fine_?” Dennis voice had gotten lower, and he locked eyes with Mac like a lion circling in on an antelope. Mac’s eyes widened. Dennis’s mood swings were rapid and unpredictable. He knew what this look meant and made his legs feel like jelly.

“How fine, Mac?” Dennis prodded. “Just how fine am I?”

“What? Dude, are you asking me to like, rate you?”

“Yes. Yes Mac, I want you to tell me that I’m a five star man.”

“Dennis, that’s like…kind of gay don’t you think?”

Dennis resisted the overwhelming urge to roll his eyes. “Yes, well you’re gay and I know that you’re gay and I am still asking you so I don’t see how that matters much.”

Mac tried to follow this logic but was having an increasingly hard time concentrating, with Dennis stepping in even closer, his bare chest just a few inches away. Mac’s back was pressed against the bathroom wall and eyes shifted all over, not wanting to make eye contact with Dennis but not knowing where else to look.

“Um.”

Dennis grinned. Mac was so easy. His emotions were so palpable, so obvious. It took so little to get him like this.

It was pathetic, and Mac knew he’d spend the rest of the day replaying and regretting it what he knew was just his shitty friend’s need for an ego boost but. What else was he supposed to do when Dennis looked at him like that? He was lost to it. Always had been.

“C’mon. Lets go take a shower.” Dennis turned to open the curtain, but Mac grabbed his shoulders and kissed him, not able to hold back any longer. They kissed frantically, makeup crashed to the floor as Mac pushed Dennis up against the sink counter. Usually this would’ve irritated Dennis- after all that was some expensive Sephora shit- but right now it didn’t matter. Dennis liked how desperate Mac was, liked that he could already feel Mac getting hard against him. But he needed to be the one in control right now. He pushed Mac against the wall and kissed his neck, slowly moving his hands up and down Mac’s chest before landing on his belt. Mac exhaled as Dennis undid his belt and unzipped his pants.

He was never fully prepared for when Dennis touched him. It was so rare these days, and he savored every pat on the back, every moment they stood with shoulders touching. This though, was something else entirely. Mac watched Dennis pull down his boxers, leaving him exposed. Dennis ran his fingers across him and Mac shivered in anticipation for what was coming next.

“God, Dennis.” He breathed as his friend smirked.

Dennis had to say, as dicks went Mac did have a nice one. A top notch dong. It was something he could admire, from one man to another. And there was just something amazing about how visibly _ready_ it was for him. A thrill you just didn’t get with women. Or perhaps, a thrill he could only get from watching Mac…

Dennis went to his knees, eyes closed and mouth parted, one hand resting on his friend’s lower back.

Now _this_ was what people prayed to.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for fading to black but this has been sitting in my drafts forever bc i literally could not write a full blowjob scene so this is better than nothing hopefully LOL maybe one day ill give it a. proper ending.


End file.
